Despite popular belief, I do not and did not stagger on July 4th and fall into dishes. That was that fucking klutz Mikaela. She doesn't drink often because of that pansy-ass shit she has to stab into her stomach every week, so when she does boy does she get drunk fast. And she probably smoked too much of the ganja, too. Oh well, she's been replacing her stoneware with plastic for her stupid hands to hold better anyhow. No fucking harm done anyhow, apart from the liars claiming I was drunk, high, and staggering. Want to know what I was doing? Having only TWO glasses of a fine pinot noir and reading her Indian cookbook and converting the chicken recipes to human flesh. Bitch better sleep with one eye open, now.